All Things Work for Good

There's a reason I thought of this particular Bible quote today from Romans 8:28.

Nineteen years ago today, I miscarried my second pregnancy.  The pain and sadness lessened a long time ago, which is why I can write about it and share my thoughts.

When I was starting my senior year of college, my boyfriend of just over a year broke up with me.  I was devastated.  I had hoped that maybe he was "the one" and we would marry after college.  I tried everything I could to get him to see that breaking up was a mistake, but I'll never forget what he said (as kindly as he could) to me.

"I find myself thinking about the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, and I just... don't think... that's you."

Ouch.

I called my grandparents 350 miles away in Pennsylvania.  My wonderful Papa Frank answered the phone.  I told him what had happened and he said to me that in all his years of living, one thing he had learned was that everything works out for the best.  He even gave me examples from his own experience.

At the time, this really wasn't what I wanted to hear.  Maybe I wanted to hear him say that the guy would realize what a catch I was and come back.  Maybe I wanted to hear that the guy was a big jerk and I was better off without him.  However, I knew Papa loved me more than anything, and he was very smart and wise, and just maybe he was right.

Five months later, in January, I met a wonderful guy named Eddie.  When I met him, it did not take long to see how kind and giving he was and how much better suited we were to each other.  Love felt different this time around.  I think it was probably the first time I had ever really loved someone unselfishly and received the same in return.  I blogged about him on Valentine's Day.  We have been together for 26 years, and married for nearly 25.

Other sad things and difficulties have happened to me and my loved ones since I called Papa Frank in August of 1990.  He has been gone since December of 1997, but whenever I start to feel despondent, I think of that phone call.  I can hear his voice in my head as if he were standing right here.

When I had that miscarriage, Papa had been gone only two months, so thinking of his words at that time made me extra sad.  I wondered how on earth things could possibly work out for the best.  My Papa was gone.  My baby was gone.

However, life went on.  Just under a year later, I was holding a new baby boy - my second son.  Out of the tragedy of the miscarriage came the great joy he has brought to our lives.  We gave him the middle name "Franklin" - a nod to trusting the wisdom of Papa Frank and not losing hope.

There is a lot of sadness, difficulty, and tragedy in the world.  The two examples from my own life pale in comparison to what a lot of people go through.  It's normal to think nothing good can come from these situations, and sometimes it's hard to see the good.  At the very least, I think of the advice that the mother of television's Mr. Rogers gave him when he was a little boy.  She said when something scary or bad happened that he should "look for the helpers.  You will always find people helping."

The kindness and goodness of others can give us all a ray of hope in dark times.

At SparkPeople, we share each other's joys and sorrows.  We are all helpers.  Let us continue to use our collective power to support each other and work for good.