You Have Reached the Top of the Mountain!

"You have reached the top of the mountain: performance on the level of .....!"

This was the only line of text in an email I (and 10 others) received early this morning from the man who has organized the "Piano Marathon of Master Amateurs" that will take place at the Gasteig in Munich, Germany next weekend.  The poster promoting our event is next to that of Murray Perahia - an internationally-acclaimed pianist - who will be performing in the same venue two weeks later.  Even though it's not our individual faces on our poster, it's still pretty neat.  The Gasteig is kind of like the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. - a big cultural arts venue.

The "top of the mountain."  It's funny that Eberhard chose this phrase because I was inspired by other Sparkers' beautiful outdoor pictures to share a few of my own. 

We live in the shadow of the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia.  From our house, it's about a 25-minute drive to get to the Peaks of Otter.  This past Sunday, my daughter and I hiked "Sharp Top."

We parked further away than normal - at the country store next to the visitor's center - because the parking lot and grassy area at the trailhead was completely packed.  According to RunKeeper, it's about 1.72 miles to the summit with 1,237 feet of ascent.  There are a lot of easier trails at the Peaks, so why is this one so popular?  Why do we do it?

We often choose the hardest path because of the payoff at the end.

Sometimes we might not make our goal, but there is always something to be gained by trying.  We just need to keep doing our best!

Some of you who know me well know that I've been a little anxious about my upcoming performances - worrying about my tendinitis and that my program isn't difficult enough compared to my peers.  However, I need to forget about that and focus on what I love about my musical journey.  When I practice and play these masterworks, it feels GOOD.  It feels good to learn, and try, and grow.  

Whatever mountain we're each trying to climb, let us focus on the beauty of the journey and the payoff we receive every step of the way!

There's a SparkTeam for That!

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the vastness of SparkPeople.  Seriously.  There are so many things to help us on our journey to better health.  Nutrition tracker.  Weight tracker.  Fitness tracker.  SparkRecipes.  Articles.  Videos.  Message Boards.  Challenges.  Blogs.  Goals.  Streaks.  Trophies.  Reports.  SparkMail.

And SparkTeams.

I don't belong to too many teams, but I'm really excited to have found one that is dedicated to something I love.

Pianists!

Yes, there is a SparkTeam of pianists.  It hasn't been active for a while, but I'd love to change that.  Since I began blogging here, there are several of my friends who play and love the instrument.

Would you consider joining our team?

Pianists SparkTeam

If you don't play the piano, I'd suggest browsing around the SparkTeams.  You know how we hear, "There's an app for that!"  Well, chances are good that whatever your interest is... there's a team for that!  It's always great to make new friends who share our interests.

P.S.  Also, for you pianists who might not know, there's a very active piano forum at PianoWorld.  Whether you're a beginner, a concert pianist, a jazz pianist, a church musician, a technician, or whatever... there is a forum there for you to ask questions and/or give advice.  Check it out!  I'm "coaster" over there.

Pedal... OFF!!!! A Reality Check.

I've been learning Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" for an upcoming performance in May.  It's coming along quite nicely, but I'll tell you something I have struggled with since I was a little girl when it comes to the piano.

My mother, Brooklyn_Born, always called it "concertizing."

"Concertizing" is what I find myself doing in my practice sessions once I reach a certain point of proficiency at a piece.  I've got it technically down pat, for the most part, and I'm excited to try to sound just like a recording I heard.  I find myself playing the piece the whole way through, over and over, concertizing for myself.  If I fluff a little spot, I keep going because "it's close enough."

I found myself doing this with Rhapsody.  So I recorded myself on my iPhone playing the entire thing from memory.  Hmmm.  It sounded better in my head than it did on the recording.  I marked the sections that needed extra work and tackled them with slow practice to clean them up.  As I worked a particularly tricky technical section, it occurred to me that I couldn't really hear if my hands were perfectly together due to the pedal being on.

If you've had any piano training, you know about the damper pedal.  Of the three pedals, it's the one on the far right side that blurs the notes, making everything sound more connected and smooth.  It softens the hard edges.  Think of it like a camera filter that softens all the lines.  It makes imperfections (note errors) a lot less noticeable.

So I decided to hit myself with a reality check and work on the technical sections with the pedal off.  I was much better able to hear which measures or beats needed extra attention.  I worked to get them exactly accurate.  I saw more improvement in that one session of facing reality than I did by concertizing and fluffing my way through.

Our fitness & diet habits are the same way.  It's easy to get in the habit of putting on a "filter" of sorts - by estimating calories consumed or minutes walked or miles run.  Lately I've been doing that with my food intake, and the result is the scale hasn't budged too much in a couple weeks.

Just like with the piano practice, my Spark habits need a reality check.  No more fluffing for me!

There Will Come a Day...

I love the Lord of the Rings movies - especially Return of the King.  One of my favorite parts of the movie is where Aragorn is rallying his army outside the Black Gate of Mordor and gives a stirring speech.  If you don't know what I'm talking about (or you just want to see it again), here it is:

Aragorn at the Black Gate

"There will come a day... ... but it is not THIS day!" has become part of our lexicon.  We see it sometimes in memes.  So when I found this headband at a running shop, as a LOTR fan, I had to have it.

At the moment, I'm struggling with motivation to get outside and do a long run.  I need to remember to get out there and do it because I CAN.  

Seize the day, everyone!

Edited to add:

I got out there and ran 9 miles. 

Then I came back here to edit and thought, "Gee, I have my grandma's nose."

Ordinary People

This blog isn't about anything health-related.  It's just something funny I remembered as I went through photos on my hard drive.

Last summer, I was with my husband in the elevator of the Worthington Hotel in Fort Worth, Texas, headed down to the first floor, on our way to attend the finals of the Cliburn Amateur Piano Competition.  Since I hadn't made the cut for the final six, I hadn't had to rehearse with the Fort Worth Symphony the day before.  So we spent that day doing other things in the area.

The elevator stopped and a man and woman got in.  The man turned to me and said, "I really enjoyed your performances."  I thanked him and then asked, "Are you going to the finals tonight?"

His reply was, "I'm conducting the concert."

😳

Of course, I had seen his bio and photo in the Cliburn competition booklet, but I guess I hadn't committed it to memory.  I was so embarrassed!  I think I covered pretty well, saying, "Oh my gosh, of COURSE you are.  I can't believe I didn't recognize you!"  He was very gracious and we chatted all the way to the concert hall, where my husband took my picture with him.

Then a few months later, I was surfing randomly on the Internet, and who should pop up in an entertainment story but this man.  Oh my gosh, not only is he a Julliard-trained conductor... but he's a Julliard-trained actor and has been on a bunch of TV shows, including Criminal Minds, where he plays the character "Steven Walker."  He was also "Harry" in the movie La La Land.

Am I uninformed regarding the entertainment world or what?  I laughed at my ignorance.  Not only didn't I realize he was the conductor, but I didn't know he was on TV.  I had been in the presence of a pretty famous actor and I had no idea.

We've all heard it said, "They're regular people just like you and me" or "They also put their pants on one leg at a time."  In that elevator, he seemed just like anybody else.

So here's my picture with the actor, Damon Gupton, although at the time I thought he was simply "the maestro."

Distraction

I remember the first time I played a grand piano.  I was 7 years old and in a competition.  I was mesmerized by the reflection of my hands in the fallboard, much like this:

Then I noticed - looking through the crack between the music desk and the piano - that I could see the hammers coming up and striking the strings.  I noticed how the dampers stayed up when I pushed the damper pedal.  I had never seen how a piano actually works, so this was fascinating.

I played my entire Clementi Sonatina while looking at the hammers and the reflection of my hands.  I don't think I ever looked at the actual keys.  Fortunately, I played well, as I knew the Sonatina so well that I was able to play it on autopilot.  I won.

When I was at Cliburn last summer, my first competition in 25 years, I was super distracted by, ironically, the silence of the room.  During my performance of a Bach fugue, I thought, "I bet I could literally hear a pin drop in here."  Then I thought to myself, "I probably ought to think about what I'm doing."

So we don't even need outside distractions.  Our own thoughts can distract us, as we often have a lot of responsibilities to take care of that are in the back of our minds.  How many times have you driven somewhere and then thought, "I don't remember any of the drive at all."  (I hope I'm not the only one.)

Did you see the movie "Up?"

SQUIRREL!!!!!

Like the dog in "Up," my husband would say that is me sometimes.  In the middle of a conversation, he can tell if I'm suddenly not listening anymore.

I don't think I have Attention Deficit Disorder, as there are plenty of times I'm able to focus on a task.  However, sometimes a new thought enters my brain and I find myself thinking of the "wrong thing."

I've got a busy brain.  I'm glad about that, as it makes life interesting, but I admire those who are able to focus for a long time on a singular task with great concentration.

You're Never "Over the Hill"

Recently, my children's high school band director invited guest conductors to work with their bands for over 10 hours of rehearsal from 4 PM Friday to 3 PM Saturday as they prepare for Concert Assessment.  For the final hour, parents are invited to an Open House where they can roam from room to room and hear the result of the students' hard work.

The conductor of the Wind Symphony told the teens to continue to play their instrument throughout their lives.  He told them that most cities and towns have opportunities for people to play - like a community orchestra or band.  He said he knows a few guys over the age of 80 who still enjoy playing in a group.

I leaned over to my husband and I said, "I guess you're never 'over the hill' as long as you have somewhere to climb."

I think it's important for us to continue have goals that we try to reach as we age.  We might not be able to do quite what we used to, as all kinds of things can happen.  I've spent a lot of time visiting nursing homes during the last few years.  There is a real difference in the quality of life between those who are able to keep exercising their minds by working puzzles, reading, playing cards, bird-watching, and attending social events.  Those who are able walk the halls or work out in the physical therapy room.

We don't know what life has in store for any of us, and we might reach a point where we are unable to do much of anything.  But unless (or until) that happens, let's always strive to be on the "up" side of the hill!

Let It Go, Let It Goooooooooo...

Sorry.  I'm sure I've now put that song in your head for the rest of the day, but it figures prominently in what I'm going to talk about today.

A few days ago, I played another solo recital - this one was my "dry run" before I make my European debut in two weeks in Munich, Germany.

The recital went very well.  However, I had one scary moment in Brahms' Rhapsody in B minor, Op. 79, No. 1.  I don't know what happened.  I had already played the same thing already in the first section of the piece, and done fine.  I know how it goes.  It was like my hands and brain temporarily forgot what to do.  I covered as best I could but I was so rattled!

I finished the piece and as I bowed, I thought, "I guess this is what it's like when a figure skater falls on a triple jump and has to just keep skating and smiling."  I still had two pieces to go, and I'm glad to say they were fine.  The Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody always elicits a few whoops and hollers at the end, so that was a great way to end the entire performance.

Apparently I covered it well because afterward, the few people I mentioned it to said they had no idea.  Only those who know the piece (and me) well, like my husband and parents, could tell something had happened and I was shaken by it.

It's funny, isn't it?  We do something super well... and what do we focus on?  The one tiny negative thing.  We even beat ourselves up over it.  We all know in our hearts that we're human and, in all likelihood, not going to be perfect.  We can tell ourselves that over and over, and try not to think negatively, but we do.

A few weeks ago, I blogged about my anxiety over my upcoming performances.  I mentioned how I heard my pieces in my head at night as I slept.  I was finally able to curb that anxiety by practicing new pieces that I don't have to play for quite a while.  Instead, THOSE were the pieces I heard in my head, and they were kind of relaxing.

However, after the recital, I woke up at 3 AM, and what was going through my head?  The Brahms.  Ugh!  I tried to get back to sleep for about an hour by thinking of other things, but I kept coming back to the Brahms.  Finally, I thought to myself, "Just let it GO!!!" and suddenly, I heard that Disney song in my head.  I started playing the piano part in my head.  I started drifting off, and soon I was asleep.

Then the smoke detector battery decided to die just minutes later.   Beep!...  Beep!...  Beep!

I wish I could say I'm joking about that, but it's the truth!  However, after replacing the battery at 4:20 AM, I started mentally playing "Let It Go" in my head again, and off I went to dreamland.

Maybe counting sheep works for you.  Or counting your blessings instead of sheep.  For me, I will let it go... let it gooooooooooo...

In case you're interested, here's the event I'm playing for in Munich.  "I'm the Kirchenmusikerin und Hausfrau"
https://www.gasteig.de/veranstaltungen/mein-pianoforte-pianomarathon-internationaler-meisteramateure.html,v47088

All Things Work for Good

There's a reason I thought of this particular Bible quote today from Romans 8:28.

Nineteen years ago today, I miscarried my second pregnancy.  The pain and sadness lessened a long time ago, which is why I can write about it and share my thoughts.

When I was starting my senior year of college, my boyfriend of just over a year broke up with me.  I was devastated.  I had hoped that maybe he was "the one" and we would marry after college.  I tried everything I could to get him to see that breaking up was a mistake, but I'll never forget what he said (as kindly as he could) to me.

"I find myself thinking about the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, and I just... don't think... that's you."

Ouch.

I called my grandparents 350 miles away in Pennsylvania.  My wonderful Papa Frank answered the phone.  I told him what had happened and he said to me that in all his years of living, one thing he had learned was that everything works out for the best.  He even gave me examples from his own experience.

At the time, this really wasn't what I wanted to hear.  Maybe I wanted to hear him say that the guy would realize what a catch I was and come back.  Maybe I wanted to hear that the guy was a big jerk and I was better off without him.  However, I knew Papa loved me more than anything, and he was very smart and wise, and just maybe he was right.

Five months later, in January, I met a wonderful guy named Eddie.  When I met him, it did not take long to see how kind and giving he was and how much better suited we were to each other.  Love felt different this time around.  I think it was probably the first time I had ever really loved someone unselfishly and received the same in return.  I blogged about him on Valentine's Day.  We have been together for 26 years, and married for nearly 25.

Other sad things and difficulties have happened to me and my loved ones since I called Papa Frank in August of 1990.  He has been gone since December of 1997, but whenever I start to feel despondent, I think of that phone call.  I can hear his voice in my head as if he were standing right here.

When I had that miscarriage, Papa had been gone only two months, so thinking of his words at that time made me extra sad.  I wondered how on earth things could possibly work out for the best.  My Papa was gone.  My baby was gone.

However, life went on.  Just under a year later, I was holding a new baby boy - my second son.  Out of the tragedy of the miscarriage came the great joy he has brought to our lives.  We gave him the middle name "Franklin" - a nod to trusting the wisdom of Papa Frank and not losing hope.

There is a lot of sadness, difficulty, and tragedy in the world.  The two examples from my own life pale in comparison to what a lot of people go through.  It's normal to think nothing good can come from these situations, and sometimes it's hard to see the good.  At the very least, I think of the advice that the mother of television's Mr. Rogers gave him when he was a little boy.  She said when something scary or bad happened that he should "look for the helpers.  You will always find people helping."

The kindness and goodness of others can give us all a ray of hope in dark times.

At SparkPeople, we share each other's joys and sorrows.  We are all helpers.  Let us continue to use our collective power to support each other and work for good.

So Delicious...

A few years ago, my husband switched to almond & coconut milk products.  Around the same time, we were also looking to consume less high-fructose corn syrup.  We discovered it was in our coffee creamer, so I started looking at others.  I found this:

The product's very name is truthful, in my opinion.  So Delicious!

Nutrition information (per Tablespoon):

Calories:  25

Total Fat:  1g

Saturated Fat:  0.5g

Cholesterol:  0

Sodium:  0

Total Carb:  5g

Dietary Fiber:  0

Sugars:  4g

Protein:  0

There are zero vitamins & minerals... even calcium is listed at 0%, which is a little surprising, but I don't generally try to get my calcium from my creamer, anyway.

A container costs $2.49 from Fresh Market and $2.59 from Kroger.  It sells out from time to time, so I always keep about 4 containers in my fridge at all time.  That way if it sells out, I've got a couple weeks on hand until it's back in stock.

I know milk & sugar is cheaper, but we really enjoy this creamer, and maybe you will, too!

Valentine's Day #27

Today is the 27th Valentine's Day for my husband and me.  We had our first date on February 9th, 1991.  I was flying out to Texas on the 13th for a piano competition, so I was really surprised when my boyfriend of 3 days dropped by my apartment on the 12th with a red rose, a small heart-shaped box of candy, and a card with big red lips on it (when you opened it, there was an ape wearing lipstick.)  It was such a surprise.  I knew even before then that he was a keeper, but that sort of sealed the deal.

There have been many more Valentine's Days since then - usually involving me buying him a few heart-shaped Reese cups and him buying me a box of chocolate.

However, we're inspired by my parents this year and skipping the chocolate, although I did buy each of my children a Lindt Excellence bar (2 "intense mint" ones and 1 "chili" one.)

If you're thinking "chili & chocolate?  Yuck," all I can say is... try it.  I thought the same thing and was pleasantly surprised.

Well, that is, if you want to have the chocolate.  No pressure.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.  I hope you all have a lovely day!

Since my mother's blog is on SparkPeople's Featured list, I'm sure anyone reading this has already seen it.  However, if you haven't, you can find it at:
http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6314288

May the Force Be with You!

What is the strongest force in the world?  According to what I found using Google, it seems it's the nuclear force that holds together the atom.

I think the atoms that make up the mattress of my bed have the strongest nuclear force in the entire world.  At least, they have quite a hold on me.  I call this phenomenon "the bed magnet."

Every day, it takes a tremendous amount of willpower on my part to resist the pull of the bed magnet, although I have noticed on certain days, like Saturday, it has significantly less power.

There are always going to be forces working against us in this world. For others, it might not be the bed magnet.

• It might be a spouse who buys junk food when we're trying to eat healthier.
• It might be a relative or co-worker who smokes around us when we're trying to quit.
• It might be the bitterly cold, windy weather that arrives just as we're planning an outdoor run.
• It might be those donuts on the table at the church's social hour.

My husband preached a sermon today and in one part of it, he reminded us that laws are there to be guidelines.  If we do this, and this, and this - for a long enough time - it shapes or changes our behavior.

Many of us have a list of the things we need to do.  Maybe it's a mental list or maybe it's a physical list that you have written down.  It's kind of like "the law" for us.  Our world often tells us that rules are oppressive things.  We have to ignore what the world tells us!  If we follow the steps half-heartedly, it's all too easy to fall back into our old habits.  We have to instead keep the "spirit of the law" in our hearts, so we are more likely to succeed.

I don't like getting up in the morning, but I do.  I could look at this two ways:

If I don't get up and go to work, I'd get fired.

or

I get up and go to work because I am good at my job and I can help people by doing it.

Getting up because of reason #2 is definitely a nicer way to start my day, and I think my positive days outnumber the negative ones.

So... perhaps the force of my bed magnet is strong, but I am stronger.  This goes for all of us.

May the force be with you!

A Scruncher's Cry for Help!

We had two beautiful 70-degree days in Virginia recently.  Then all of a sudden, wham!  High winds and cold temperatures returned.  I had to go outside in these temperatures to run errands.  Every time I got out of the car, I realized how tight and tense my body felt, trying to stay warm.  This got me thinking... are we more tense in the cold?

A quick Google search of "are we more tense in the cold" yielded this #1 result:
http://imogenragone.com/feeling-cold-excess-tension-and-the-alexander-technique/

I remember learning about the Alexander Technique when I was a teenage pianist and our teacher had an expert come and analyze our playing posture.  I felt so different - almost lighter - when she adjusted the position of my head, the way I sat, and how I moved my arms.  It felt so good - so relaxing.

I am a naturally tense person, I think.  I'm always thinking about what needs to be done while also thinking about what I'm doing at the moment.  Not all of the things I think about are bad or worrisome, but it's like my mind is always multi-tasking.  I constantly find myself with scrunched up shoulders and have to consciously relax them.

So when I was out & about, I realized how, once again, my shoulders were all scrunched up.  My hands were tightly balled into fists in my pockets.  My head was bent over so I could tuck my chin inside my jacket.  I realized... my body felt pretty bad because of all this tension.  I tried to decide what was worse - feeling cold or feeling tense.

I am always cold.  Maybe that's also part of the reason I'm often tensed up.  I've been that way since I was little.  Nowadays people will feel it's helpful to tell me that I'm cold because I need to gain weight - "Eat a sandwich" - but the reality is I am slam in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height.  I don't think packing on pounds of insulating fat is a healthy answer.

I guess as far as the cold goes, I can put on another layer.  Maybe I need to wear an undershirt like I did when I was in preschool.  As far as relaxing in general goes... I am curious, how do you all relax?  How do you focus on one thing at a time?  I would love to hear.

For the moment, this scruncher is sitting in front of a roaring pellet stove, and for the last 20 minutes or so, has thought of nothing more than writing this blog entry.  Ahhhhh.

(If you read my blog yesterday about relaxing with Gracie, remember - I can't get a dog at this point in my life.)

The Health Benefits of Pets

This is Gracie.

Gracie is not our dog.  She lives next door.  Imagine every time you drive into the garage, you see this little face looking at you, on the other side of the invisible fence.  Imagine the whining noise she emits.  As you can see, this dog is *clearly* starving and neglected.  (Yeah, right!)

We keep a box of small Milkbones in our laundry room and usually once (sometimes twice) a day, we'll give Gracie half of a small Milkbone.  When we moved here over 2 years ago, we asked her owners if that was okay.  

Gracie was rescued from an abusive home, so it took a while for her to trust us.  The Milkbones helped a lot with that.  After a few weeks, she started to let us pet her.  Nowadays, every time one of us pulls into the driveway, she comes running and the "show" that I described begins.

After we give Gracie her Milkbone, we usually pet her for a while.  If we stop, she'll nudge her head under our hand to get us to start again.  She'll even play with my daughter and give her kisses.  Sometimes she'll roll on her back to get us to scratch her belly. 

Years ago, we had a black lab mutt (a "pound puppy") named Satch (after rock guitarist Joe Satriani - hey, we were kids, barely out of college.)  She was the first and only pet I've ever had.  I remember how good it felt every day to see her bounding at me in excitement when I came home from work.  I remember how relaxing it felt to pet her.  However, when my oldest son was 4 (and Satch was 8), we discovered he has a dog allergy.  Satch lived over 15 years, but due to the allergy, we've never gotten another pet.  That's why I really appreciate Gracie next door.

A quick Google search yields an impressive list of the benefits of owning a pet.  The following list is compiled from Animal Planet and the U.S. Center for Disease Control & Prevention.

Pets can:

• Lower your blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels, and therefore lower the risk of a heart attack
• Boost your immunity
• Improve your social skills (can even be "date magnets!")
• Lead to better recovery rates for those who have experienced a heart attack
• Increase opportunities for exercise - dog owners who walk their pets are less likely to be obese
• Combat feelings of loneliness

Just being around pets on occasion has its benefits as well.  The Mayo Clinic website says therapy dogs can help healing and lessen depression and fatigue.

We may not be Gracie's owners, but the small amount of time we spend with her brings a lot of joy to our lives.  I loved Satch tremendously, but I honestly don't miss the responsibility of owning a dog.  I doubt I will ever get another one - and certainly not while our oldest son lives with us.  However, I try to never say "never."  In the meantime, I will continue to daily spend time with sweet Gracie.  Just thinking about her is relaxing me already!

"The Scale Is Wrong"

This morning, I am pondering a question.  How can you weigh more upon awakening (and after "emptying" yourself, to put it nicely) than you did when you went to bed?

I don't usually weigh myself at night, but last night I did.  Then this morning, I was 2 pounds heavier.

I'm sure I didn't really gain 2 pounds overnight, but it makes me wonder where they came from.

I'm reminded of back in 1996 when I had my first son.  I weighed in at the doctor's office at 130 pounds.  He confirmed that I was in labor and off I went to the hospital.  I had my 7-pound son.  Three days later (it was a c-section), as the nurses were preparing my paperwork so I could be released, they weighed me again.  130.  I exclaimed, "HOW can I still be 130 pounds?  That's impossible!  I just had a 7-pound baby!"

My doctor showed up a little while later and I asked him.  His answer?

"The scale is wrong."

That satisfied me.

Years later, I realized he was probably just telling a postpartum mother exactly what she wanted to hear.  In all likelihood, the scale was right.  I was probably retaining fluid as a result of the surgery and who knows what else.

You can't deny reality.

I know my scale upstairs is not wrong and I understand that weight fluctuates, but I sure do wonder where those 2 overnight pounds came from.  It is a mystery to me.  Therefore, both informed and speculative comments are welcome!

Love the Seagulls!

You know how much I hate the cold.  Well, I'm here to tell you to forget Punxsutawney Phil's forecast this year!  6 more weeks of winter?  Nope, I disagree.  And it's all because of the seagulls.

I pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot and look what I found!

This doesn't begin to show how many were actually here.

You might wonder, "Are those mountains in the background?"  Why yes, they are.  We live in Central Virginia in the shadow of the Blue Ridge.  Those mountains are 15 minutes away.  So you might wonder why we've got seagulls here.  I've wondered that, myself.

I've heard they live at Smith Mountain Lake in the warmer months.  My parents live at the lake, but I don't think I've ever seen the gulls when visiting their house.  Maybe they prefer more touristy locations where people feed them.  I have no idea.

In any case, when I see the seagulls in the parking lot at Wal-Mart, it makes me feel like Spring is just around the corner.

So here's hoping for an early Spring!

Lonely Beans at The SuperCenter

I had to make a quick trip to Wal-Mart before heading home after church this past Sunday.  I headed for the food section and oh. my. goodness.  What on earth?  The snack food aisle was mobbed.  So was the beer aisle.  Luckily, I was not there to buy those things, because I bet I couldn't have gotten through.  Then I realized why.

Super Bowl Sunday.
Aha.

Since we weren't planning to watch the Super Bowl, I headed to the bean (canned vegetable) aisle.  The aisle was empty.  There was NOBODY buying beans but me.

I thought about the poor, lonely canned black beans.  Nobody wanted them.  A quick google of "the health benefits of black beans" yields a quick, neat summary.

"The beans are actually the edible seeds of the legume plant. Like other legumes such as peanuts, peas and lentils, black beans are prized for their high protein and fiber content. They also contain several other key vitamins and minerals that are known to benefit human health."

Well, with super qualities like that, they should be flying off the shelves, shouldn't they?

We eat black beans approximately once per week.  My family loves the two recipes I'll share with you here.
Quinoa & Black Beans
Black Bean & Corn Burritos

Maybe I'll see a few of you in the bean aisle soon!  Toot toot! 

Unrealistic Expectations

Yesterday's blog entry was about maintaining perfect "streaks" and how it can put a lot of pressure on us.  Later in the day, I was working on the fugue from J.S. Bach's Prelude and Fugue in C major from the Well-Tempered Clavier, Book II.  I played this piece back in high school, so it's been at least 30 years since I studied it.

The prelude isn't all that difficult for me and I had that relearned and memorized quickly.  It came back very easily.  However, fugues are another story because they are very intricate.  It's easy to get your fingers tangled, difficult to bring out the correct notes, and make it musical, to boot.  In addition, in a fugue like this one, in certain places it's hard to remember which way the notes go in a certain voice when it doesn't have the melody.  It weaves around this way and that... quite complex.

After 3 days, I could play it well with the music but I was very frustrated that I couldn't play it memorized all the way through.  I berated myself a little bit... "What's the matter with you?  Just play how it goes!  You've worked on it 3 times already!"

Suddenly I laughed out loud.  Really, I did.  I thought to myself, "THREE TIMES, Jeanne?"  I had literally practiced this piece for a total of what... and hour and a half over a three-day span.  After thirty years away from it, I was mad at myself that it wasn't memorized already?

I thought of how I blogged about perfect streaks - how I often perceive not maintaining that streak as failure.  I realized this is a similar problem.  I had an unrealistic expectation - and I "failed."   

Will I achieve memorization of this fugue?  I am certain I will.  However, it's going to take longer than 3 days to do it, and so what if it does?  Why did I decide the amount of time I had spent on it amounted to failure??

It can be motivating to set a time or date for a goal, but we have to be realistic when we do.  We wouldn't say, "I want to lose 10 pounds by Friday."   We should look to the future with reasonable expectations, and if we don't quite make it and fall short, so what?  Look at how far we've come.  A small failure to achieve a specific goal doesn't make the entire journey a failure.  So what if the journey will take a little longer than we thought!  Look at the positive.  Re-set and renew!

The Pressure of a "Streak"

We hear about "Streaks" all the time on SparkPeople.  I've got some streaks going - like logging in every day, and blogging every day since January 2nd.  I'm not sure how long I can keep up the blogging one, but it's fun to see if I think of something to write about.

I've got some streaks in my personal life, too.  The first one that comes to mind is cleaning the kitchen every night.  Sometimes my husband or kids clean it, but most of the time it's me, as I'm very particular about it.  I like to wake up to a clean, organized kitchen.  So even if they do all the "dirty work," I will often finish tidying up and making everything extra nice.  It is a rarity that I leave dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter, but it does occur from time to time.

I started a new streak the same day I started back on SparkPeople.  Flossing my teeth.

I really hate flossing.  I don't know why.  It's not like it takes all that long.  It wards off gingivitis and it makes dentist visits more pleasant since your gums aren't as tender.  I flossed my teeth every day at one point - maybe my late 30s? - for a few years, barely missing a day.  But then I missed a couple days, and then it turned into a week, and then a month... and then eventually I only flossed once in a blue moon.

After 3 root canals, it's probably too late to save the rest of my teeth from their inevitable fate, but I am determined to do what I can and set a good example for my children.  (Since they saw the agony I was in for 2 days before my last root canal, I think that may have done more than any positive example I can set, but hey... I also want to show that if *I* can change my habits in middle age, anyone can change anytime!)

So, here I am, a month into my nightly flossing routine.  I've only missed one day, and I'm happy to say I didn't just give up and decide, "Oh well, I failed again!" and lose my resolve.  I think that's the biggest problem for me with streaks.  I often see it as an "all or nothing" kind of thing, and then give up because I "failed."

Keeping track of a Streak can put a lot of pressure on us and contribute to a fear of failure.  A child with perfect school attendance gets sick.  Would you send the child anyway, risking infecting the other students, just to keep the streak intact?  I've seen runners (myself included) keep training through injury so they can get their planned mileage in.  I've seen the tremendous anxiety straight-A students have at the thought of getting their first B since letter grades began on third grade report cards.  The fear is so great that some resort to cheating and risk the chance of punishment.

Then, for some people, once the "failure" has occurred, it can lead to a lost desire to try.  I blogged about this a few years ago in "Falling Down the Stairs."

We have to remember what is is actually important.  What are we trying to achieve?  Perfection?  I don't think so.

We might not log into SP, exercise, or floss our teeth.  We might get a disappointing grade on a report card.  Our team might lose after several undefeated seasons.  We might make poor food choices.  We might get sick or injured.  However, these are just inevitable bumps in the road.  What's really important is the learning and personal growth we gain on our life's journey.

I wasn't always a kitchen "neat freak."  I left dishes in the sink for days when I was in college.  What changed my ways was finding roaches in my apartment kitchen.  Yuck.  I decided to never again leave anything out that might tempt a bug or rodent of any kind to come out of hiding and crawl across my countertop.

As I wrote this blog, I realized my nightly kitchen routine is technically not a streak, because it's not perfect - and that's totally okay.  It's a habit.  It's a way of life.  Even when I have the occasional "failure," I don't see it as one.  For 25 years, 99.9% of the time, I've kept a clean kitchen, which made me think of it as a streak.  I'm sure at some point, one night I'll forget or decide not to floss my teeth.  However, I hope my new habit "goes the way of my kitchen."

May we all get to the point where we don't beat ourselves up or give up due to our small "failures" as we focus on the lifelong habits we are trying to create or maintain.

"I Hate the Cold!!!"

Every Fall, my husband says he's going to keep a tally of how many times I utter this phrase until Spring arrives.

"I hate the cold!!!"

I think I blogged about this once years ago, as I seem to remember writing the sentence, "There are not enough strong words to emphasize how much I hate it."

I got up this morning, put on my running clothes and said, "OK, I'm going to get a long run knocked out so I have the whole day to work on schoolwork and other things."

Then I looked at the weather station info.  14.2* F.

14.2* F?????

14.2* F!!!!!

What the heck?  Is this Virginia or Maine?

So, here's the dilemma.  Run long on a treadmill (not a terrible option) or get suited up and as Nike says:  "Just do it."  The photo below is an old one.  I'll let you know which one I chose.

In case you are interested in my get-up there... I'm wearing an earband covered by a balaclava, a long-sleeved technical shirt (I'm guessing) under my running fleece, special mittens with finger glove-like things inside them, running tights, SmartWools, and Hoka shoes.

Waiting for Tires... While Avoiding That Spare Tire

I sit in Starbucks as I write this.  If anybody out there has read my blog for the past few days, you'll notice three of the entries mention this Starbucks visit.  Since I write my entries a few days in advance, I'm getting the rest of the week's blog entries knocked out while sitting here, waiting for the garage to put the tires on my car that it needs to pass inspection.

I spent a decent amount of time poking around SparkPeople and writing my previous blog about my socks.  Then I figured I ought to get busy taking care of my responsibilities.  I'm taking a Health class right now at the community college (which I blogged about a few weeks ago in "A Full-Body Workout - in Our Minds.")  So I started reading.

The current chapters are about nutrition and managing one's weight.  Oh, how ironic.  I thought of the things I've eaten today at Starbucks while waiting.

I ate breakfast at 8:15 (the lower-calorie egg/cheddar English muffin - with a splurge on the high-caloric White Chocolate Mocha, I admit.)  Then I bought a decaf coffee around 10:30.  Since I had been sitting here for two hours, I figured the least I could do was buy something else.  1:00 rolled around, and I was a little hungry.  So I got their "Power Lunch Special" - a tomato/mozzarella panini, a bag of white cheddar chickpea puffs, a string cheese, and a 24-ounce bottle of water.

So, after reading the chapter on managing weight, I thought to myself, "Maybe I ought to enter everything I've eaten here in the nutrition tracker."  Holy smokes... even though every time I went to the counter and checked out the nutrition information (which seemed like - ok - that's not so bad), in the end it all adds up to 1,316 calories, with 38% of them coming from fat.  And it's only 2:00 PM.  Yikes.

I have to go help with the orchestra seating auditions later today, so to get that run in, it will have to be much later... like the last thing I do before bed, most likely.  I suppose I will also have to make sure my dinner is nutrient-dense and low calorie.  I'm not sure what that will be yet, as I doubt I'll have any time to make anything.  It might just have to be snack-type things, like yogurt and nuts.  A piece of fruit would probably be good.

In any case, my Health book mentioned that Americans who eat fast food 3-4 times a week are far more likely to be overweight or obese.  I believe it.  Even though the things I ate were somewhat lower calorie options and had nutritional value, they had a much higher calorie content than what I would fix at home.  Sometimes we can't avoid eating out, like today, where I'm a stuck until my car gets its new tires.  But on days where multiple restaurant visits are in order, we need to be extra vigilant not to let our choices create or add to that spare tire around our middles.

Super Socks

I'm sitting in Starbucks waiting for my car to be inspected.  I'm reading SparkPeople and thanking members who have kindly commented on my blogs and/or given me words of encouragement.  It's becoming one of my favorite pastimes, and yet I'm not enjoying it as much as usual today.  The reason?

My legs are cold.

It's winter in Virginia (mild compared to where many of you live, so please just bear with this southern weather wimp!)  The outside temperature is 19* F.  When I got dressed this morning, I knew I'd be sitting in Starbucks while I waited.  I opened my sock drawer and looked at my choices.  I started to grab long socks but then thought, "Oh, I'll be running later, so I'll just wear the short athletic ones.  I don't feel like dirtying extra laundry."

What a mistake!  Every time someone opens the Starbucks door, the cold air comes rushing in and I feel that 19-degree air on the little strip of bare skin between the end of my pants and the top of my socks.  Oh, why oh why didn't I wear my long socks?

Enough self-pity, here.  It's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.  But it nudged me to think about passing along this helpful hint for those of you who hate to have cold feet in the wintertime.  My absolute favorite socks in the whole wide world are called SmartWools.  I learned of them years ago just before my first winter ultra trail race.  The race was Holiday Lake 50K, and you run through 4 streams... well, 2 streams - but you run the 25K loop one direction and then turn around and run it back the other way.  So - 4 stream crossings.

The weather was slated to be about 10 degrees at the start.  I had never run in such cold before and was a little concerned about what would happen to my feet after getting them wet.  The running shop dude told me about SmartWools.  I never realized that wool retains heat even when wet.  Wow, what a great revelation!  So I bought a couple pair of SmartWool ankle socks and yes, he was right.  The stream crossings actually felt good on my feet - like a quick dunk in an ice bath, and then my feet warmed right back up.  It was downright refreshing.

A few years later, I was at Dick's Sporting Goods and I discovered SmartWool ski socks and DRESS socks!  Wow!  So now we've all got SmartWools that are knee-length and mid-calf length.  My kids wear them for marching band competitions in the Fall because that's one thing I remember being miserable about my own marching band experience - my cold feet.

Thanks to SmartWools, my family and I no longer have cold feet or legs... at least, as long as we wisely remember to put on the proper length sock for the activities of the day.  The socks are quite expensive, so I generally buy them when I've got a good coupon at Dick's.  SmartWools for a family of 5 can add up.  Take good care not to lose them.  Ours last for years and years.  The athletic ones last me hundreds - maybe thousands - of running miles before finally becoming threadbare in the heel.

If you are interested in looking for SmartWools for yourself, go to Amazon and put it in the search bar.  You'll see all kinds of socks in all kinds of lengths for all kinds of activities.  Here are two direct links to the ones that we like to wear to church (and also on a daily basis) in the wintertime.
SmartWool Women's Cable socks
SmartWool Men's Dress Socks

Wow, I've never searched Amazon for these before.  I just learned they have a whole lot MORE than socks... glove liners, long underwear, regular underwear, hats, balaclava, shirts, neck gaiters... oh my!  I feel like I just found a treasure trove of snuggly goodness!  Stay warm, everyone!

Fitting In

Because I'm a real planner, I usually write my blog entries a few days in advance.  Ideas pop into my head - things I'd like to write about - and so I keep a running list of topics.  The topic of "fitting in" came to mind, so I jotted it down.  Then I went to SparkPeople and I found this posted to my SparkPage by 1CrazyDog:  "Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner."  - Laozi (philosopher)

Funny how that works sometimes.  Time to write.

Fitting in.  I suppose whether it's good or bad depends on why you're doing it.  I can think of plenty of times when it's necessary to fit in - like if you're joining the army.  I've not been in the army, but from what I understand, you pretty much better learn to take orders and do what they say.  An army can't be very effective with a lot of people questioning orders, saying, "Um, no, I have a better idea..."

However, I suppose that's not what Laozi was talking about, and I think the quote was very relevant to my thoughts of that day.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog entry about strength training - medieval style - with the Society of Creative Anachronism.  My daughter and I planned to attend the big annual get-together in Salem, VA called "Ice Castles," where they were going to have a combat tournament as well as hold court for the investiture of the new Baron & Baroness of the Barony of Black Diamond (where we live in the Kingdom of Atlantia.)  People were bringing their sciences and crafts and it all sounded so interesting that we couldn't wait to see it all.

However, we were a little worried about fitting in.  We are totally new to this.  We don't know all the proper ways to speak, such as the way to greet people.  We don't have any medieval garb of our own and it was going to be cold and windy outdoors, to boot.  So we borrowed some garb from a woman in our local group, and we layered up with 3 shirts and 2 pairs of running tights/track pants underneath our dresses.  We hoped that would be enough to keep us warm as we didn't want to ruin the atmosphere by wearing modern outerwear.

Then I saw the quote that 1CrazyDog shared.  I realized that by worrying about our appearance, not only was I making myself a prisoner - but I was most likely only making myself a prisoner in my own mind.  Probably the people at this event would not care if we wore a coat if we were cold.  If we didn't know what to say or do, probably all we'd have to do was ask.

And that's exactly how it was.  We brought our coats in case we needed them, but we ended up being warm enough in our layers.  We did wear regular hats, gloves, and scarves, however.  We met many nice people who explained what was going on at court and on the field, and we enjoyed ourselves very much.  At the tournament, we even saw a few spectators come who weren't in period garb at all.

So I am glad we got out of our comfort zone and tried something new, without worrying too much about fitting in.  Here's a picture of my daughter with Signy, the current Princess of Atlantia.  She happens to be the twin sister of my running friend Carter (aka Thora - the former Queen of Atlantia), who I mentioned in my other blog post.  My daughter thoroughly enjoyed watching Signy fight in battle, and hopefully we'll be able to attend the event where she becomes queen.

So all this is a reminder to me and a lesson to my daughter to get out of your comfort zone sometimes - don't worry too much about fitting in.  Don't be shy.  Just introduce yourself, ask questions, and be unafraid to try something new.

Have you been lurking on SparkPeople?  Maybe today is the day to join the discussion!

Press Any Key

Some of you know, from reading my mother's blogs last year, that I'm a trained concert pianist.  I spent much of my young life in piano competition all over the country.  I liked it, but not enough to make it my life's work.

So it was a surprise to many people, myself included, when a year ago, I decided to enter the Cliburn International Piano Competition for Outstanding Amateurs, after 25 years away from playing virtuoso-level repertoire.  I was curious to see if I could still compete in an elite international field.  I literally had to dust my music off before beginning to practice.  Long story short, I did very well at Cliburn.  Out of 159 applicants, I made it all the way to the final 12.  

Suddenly, what I thought would be a "bucket-list" item - doing this one thing to see if I still could - took on a life of its own.  I was contacted by people asking me to enter other competitions, to solo with an orchestra, and to perform solo recitals... including one in Germany.  I can still hardly believe it.  

I like to make people happy, and so I accepted all the gigs unless I had a conflict, like my kids' orchestra concert.  I've now done more solo recitals in this past year than I did in all my years COMBINED as a child and teen.  

As I've mentioned in a previous blog, I've been dealing with tendinitis in my arms and hands.  This causes me great anxiety about my upcoming performances.  In addition, I hear my music in my head at night as I try to sleep.  It's very annoying, to say the least, and at times, it is terrifying, like if suddenly my fingers get "tangled" or I have a memory slip (remember, this is all going on in my head.)

I never had any performance anxiety as a child and I don't know why I'm like this now.  The funny thing is, you hear about stage fright.  Well, when I'm on stage, I'm absolutely fine.  I spoke with my good friends who are a professional violinist & cellist, and they said it's totally normal... that a lot of performers feel that way, and in their experience it gets worse as one gets older.  The person is a wreck leading up to it, but once they're onstage, they just get out there and do it - and even enjoy it.

What a roller-coaster of emotions.  No wonder so many performers drink or do drugs.  Seriously.  

Some turn to help from medical professionals. Many of my fellow Cliburn performers took Beta Blockers before going onstage to lower their performance anxiety symptoms.

I really don't want to take medication and I don't want the empty calories from alcohol (not to mention risking alcoholism.)  My friends' solution is not to do any more solo gigs.  Right now I'll admit that sounds like a pretty good solution, but I'm not sure it's what I really want.  So I'm not going to say I'll never compete or perform again.  Do I just need a break after I fulfill my latest obligations?  Maybe.

In the meantime, a friend shared a funny cartoon that I made into my Facebook cover photo a few days ago.  I need to keep it all in perspective... if I mess up, so what?  Just keep going.  

I will try to remember this in my daily life as well...   when something is troubling me, I'll control what I can and try not to worry.  Just press "any key" and continue.  This too shall pass and life goes on!