Why Am I Doing This to Myself?

This morning I ran the fourth race in my running club's local summer race series.  It's a very hilly 5K.  Brutal.  Here's the elevation chart, taken from my RunKeeper.  Notice it starts AND finishes uphill.  Does that count as "uphill both ways?"  Ha ha.

My main goal with this series has been to run my very best each time.  I want to feel like I pushed myself.

It was already 70 degrees at the start of the race and it was very humid.  That, coupled with the hills, made it - well - not the most pleasant of conditions.

I'll spare you the details of the race, but by mile 2, I was not feeling all that great.  I kept thinking, "Why am I doing this to myself?"  I thought about slowing down or even walking, since it's not like I was doing it to get an award or praise.

Then I realized why I was doing it.  I was doing it to prove to myself that I have the strength to keep pushing, even when I want to quit.  I knew that if I did quit, I'd get sympathy and understanding - after all, it's not like I *have* to attain my goal.  However, I thought about how much better it would feel if I could just continue pushing for that last 1.1 mile and be able to report that I did it; that I gave it my all.

The final hill of the race, I was so tired.  With the finish line in sight, a younger woman trotted by me at a sprightly pace.  I said, "Good job!" and she responded, "Thanks!  You, too!"  I couldn't help chuckling inwardly at the thought of what my good job probably looked like at that point.  I was anything but sprightly.  Just before the finish line, I mustered up what little energy I had left and crossed with a little bit of pep in my step.  Goal achieved.

I ended up being the 7th female finisher, the 2nd female master (over age 40), and I won my age group (45-49).  My official time was 24:33, or a 7:55 pace.  I can't remember the last time I ran under an 8:00 mile in a race, so I am physically continuing to improve with each race in the series.

I'm also continuing to improve, mentally.  Conditions were very tough today, and it was tempting to bag it and coast in, comfortably.

However, life isn't always comfortable.  Sometimes we have no choice but to get through something the best we can.  By training our minds as well as our bodies, we can fall back on that mental strength to persevere through whatever comes our way.

Here I am with my friend who won her age group, too!